Wordless Wednesday

Remembering My Dear Precious Faith!

 

Bereaved Mommies Tuesday Link Up / Blog Hop

Today I wanted to link up with Tesha from Tesha's Treasures. Every Tuesday she has a link up for Bereaved Mommies. Tesha created this link up to encourage other Mommies that have lost a child. Tesha lost her precious Jonathan on January 24, 2012.

For those that are new to my blog, My precious Faith was Stillborn on October 28, 2008. You can read her story by clicking on the tab at the top labeled Faith's Story.

Those of us that have lost a child are at different stages of our grief journey. It has been over 3 1/2 years since Faith has been gone, but my heart still aches for her. Yes, the pain is not so raw, but there is an empty place. When I read about all the newbies to the Bereaved Mommies "club" my heart hurts so badly for each of them. I wished none of us needed this club, but since we do, I have been Blessed many times by the friendships that I have found in this community!

If you have not visited Tesha's blog, I highly recommend that you hop on over to her beautiful blog, especially if you are a Bereaved mommy. She has such a sweet spirit and and has been quite a Blessing to so many!

 

Well Hello There!

Yes, it is me, believe it or not!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have written a real post. I also cannot believe it is now March 8th. Time marches on and it seems to drag me along with it.

Sorry about the lack of post here. I have been reading your blogs, just rarely leave comments. I have really enjoyed the blogging community and hope to get back to it more regularly. I am especially thankful for the support I have received here from so many because of our loss of Faith. Even though it has been over 3 years, she is still fresh on my mind and my guess is that she will always be.

Please pray with me for the ladies on the Pregnancy Prayer List. I have been a little discouraged about the lack of response of people willing to pray. I actually was seriously considering taking it down, but just about that time, I received a few new requests to be added.  I really believe God place this on my heart in the first place, so I am continuing on. I am sorry if you feel I have neglected this, but I want to continue it and be more diligent on keeping it up.

So, on that note, if you are pregnant or know someone who is, please send me an email or leave a comment if you would like to be added. My email address is on the sidebar on the right. Also, if you are on the list, I would love to receive updates on how things are going. Lisa is listed for January and I am sure she has had that baby by now, so I would love an update! Also, could you please leave a comment to let me know that you all are praying for these ladies. I know it would encourage me as well as each of them! Thanks! The names in blue are a link to their blog. Holly actually just made he family blog private so that link is not working, but you can give her a visit by visiting her other blog here.

Update about us:

This school year has brought on some changes for us. Josh is attending a Christian University and lives on Campus. We do not get to see him very much at all and the we miss him a great deal. Rebekah is attending a local University and lives at home. She also works at Chick-fil-A, so she stays extremely busy! We really do not get to see her very much either.

This means we only have 6 at home full time now. Most people would say that is a lot, but since we are down from 10, it is quite strange to me. That is not to say we are not very busy, because we are! Things are just different!

It has been a little strange only having 7 of the children living at home now. The logistics of everyday living has changed quite a bit! Knowing how to cook dinner has been a bit of a challenge too. With the 3 oldest boys not at home, my old way of cooking produces too much food. Tim has been out of the house for over 2 years, but lived fairly close by, so he would eat a lot of our leftovers. He and Naomi recently moved about 40 minutes away, so it is not so convenient for him to come get the leftovers. The younger boys are still a bit picky about their food and do not eat as much and Rebekah is rarely home, so I am learning to adjust.

My youngest is now 6, so there are no more babies around here. That is an adjustment for me as well, but I have also have learned to enjoy the freedom that comes with not having babies to care for. I would, however, would be willing to give up that freedom in a heartbeat if God chose to bless us again! I am looking forward to lots of grandchildren some day!

The hubby has been sick, and this is a first time in a really long time that he had to miss several days of work. I finally took him to the doctor this past Monday, and he has Bronchitis.When I called to make him an appointment,the receptionist fussed at me for waiting so long to make him an appointment. Well, he is a grown man and I cannot make him do anything he does not want to do. Anyway, he seemed like he was starting to get a little better, but over the weekend he ended up getting worse. He seems to be slowly getting better. I hope the antibiotic he is on is the right one for him.

Well, that is all for today. I want to write a couple of posts to catch up on the last few months. I also like to post pictures, but sometimes it seems to take me a really long time to get it all written and edited.

 Let me leave you with a picture of our silly kitty! You know, the one a told you about a few months ago that's not mine! If you don't remember, scroll down and you can see for yourself!

Hope to see you soon!

 

Happy September!

It is September 8th and life is is full swing! We are near the end of our 3rd week of school, however this was only a 4 day week.

I had started a few posts through out the Summer and hoped to finish them, but I never have.  Right now it seems overwhelming to get caught up with all the stuff  I have missed on this blog. So, I decided to just start where we are now and possibly add a little about our Summer as I go.

This year I have 6 kids in school, a first grader all the way up to a 10th grader. Last year there were seven, but Rebekah graduated. It seems a little strange just having 6 at home full time. When you have so many kids, even with just one missing, the dynamics change quite a bit.

Rebekah is going to the local University and living at home. She does not have her drivers license yet, so Hubby or I have to drop her off and pick her up. Her schedule is so full, that she is not home very much. She has long days at school and she also works several evenings a week. I feel like I hardly ever see her. She is getting the hang or her busy schedule, but she is quite worn out which is totally understandable!

Our Summer was quite busy with the Musicals from our Church. There were many practices and both Musicals had three performances each. Let's just say that we were doing a lot of running around and dinner was usually on the run. It was a lot of fun, but it was also great when it was all over! I really felt like I needed a vacation afterwards. I only had to transport my kids, I cannot imagine how the people leading these kids through every practice and performance felt. There were a few young ladies that taught the choreography for both groups and some days they had 2 practices in one day. Can you say Workout?!  I should have joined in and learned the dance moves too, it would have been a great for weight loss.

We did fit in a visit to go see my Mom in Virginia. It was so nice just to be with her. I absolutely hate being so far away from her and the rest of my family. I wish we could at least live closer so that I could easily go for the weekend or something. Last week she fell and when I got the call, it tore me apart that I could not just get up and go be with her. She thought she had broken her leg, but ended up being a small fracture and some badly bruised ribs. That has got to be painful enough though. The good news is that she got to go home! She hates having to stay in the hospital!

While in Virginia, we did get to go see Faith's grave. While I know that she is not there, but with Jesus, it is still nice to visit, since this is a little bit of her I have here on earth.

The kids always want to take my picture while we are there!

Just like all the other times we have visited, many of the kids run straight for Faith's Grave and the start cleaning it up and pulling away any long grass, etc. It always Blesses My Heart! This year I did not get a picture of it though.

My beautiful necklace from My Forever Child.

Close up of my Necklace

Micah using Uncle Rick's fancy camera! He did not want to give it back!

Even though it has been a bit  hard to get back into a regular routine of school,etc, it also feels good!  Kids just seem to do better when they keep up somewhat of a regular schedule. They also go to bed a bit earlier too!

It has been a really hot summer here, but the past few days have been cool and wet and rather dreary! It just seems that we go from one extreme to another. I really would like to have some nice Fall weather though. Some cool days with Sun, yeah, that's what I want!

Today I will leave you with a song I have on my heart:

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

by Helen H. Lemmel, 1922

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

                                                                                                                     Hebrews 12:2

 

Wordless Wednesday

My Beautiful Necklace from My Forever Child on Faith's Stone

 

 

Wordless Wednesday

Taken on Faith's 2nd Heavenly Birthday 10/28/10

 

Remembering At Christmas 2010

  

If you are missing someone you love this Christmas, someone of ANY age who is spending Christmas with Jesus this year, I hope you will join us on this very special Walking With You. We are sharing our Christmas memories and the ways that we remember our loved ones who have gone home to heaven at Christmas time.

You can click here to join in and link up too. There will be some giveaways too, so be sure not to miss it!

As Christmastime is coming upon us, I am finding I am missing Faith even more. I think about her being a two year old running around and wanting to pull ornaments off the tree.It would drive me crazy and I would love every minute of it!

She would love the lights and all the decorations and you could see the joy and delight in her eyes!

Well, she is not here, so I can only imagine these things. I miss her and wish I could just hold her. I think about her all the time and will always hold her in my heart. Those of you that have lost a child know exactly what I mean. It is like a piece of you is missing and always will.

I must admit, that I have found it hard to get into the spirit of the Season since losing Faith. I have always loved Christmas and all the sights and smells associated with it. I love the joy that the Children display with the different things we do at Christmastime. So, I try really hard for the kids, to participate and keep traditions alive.

It has taken most of the week, but we have our tree up with lights on and finally the ornaments.

Last night as we were putting on the ornaments, it was fun to see the kids remembering each one and showing such delight!  Of course, when Faith's ornaments came out everyone wanted to be the one to hang them on the tree. She is special to them also, and we hold on to whatever we can to remember her.

I find that I am missing my Dad and my Brother Doug a lot more at Christmas too.  I think Christmas was my Dad's favorite time of year. The wonderful thing was, is that he never expected anything.

In so many ways he was a simple man, and just about anything made him happy.  Just having the family around made him happy. He did not need anything else! By that, I mean, that by the world's standards, he was not a rich man. God did however, supply all his needs. But, his family meant more to him than anything money could buy, and oh, how he loved his grandchildren! I believe most of us could learn to be more like that!

I remember as a kid I would go with him up to the local Fire Department and pick out a tree. We would then bring it home and get the lights on and finally we could decorate. He had his favorite twinkle lights that he put in the window of the living room. As time marched on, he and my mom bought an artificial tree, but the twinkle lights were still in the window!  When he became too frail to do these things himself, others have pitched in to keep the lights burning and now a-days that is usually my niece Corrie and other helpers that she can recruit.

This is me with my new Swingy Doll. That is my Dad in the chair. He usually always wore a red sweater or vest on Christmas! That is my cousin Sandy standing nearby, who I absolutely adored!

 My brother Doug also enjoyed the Christmas Season. He usually helped my parents decorate their home. He was very efficient and very helpful.

Doug also enjoyed wonderful music. He could play the piano beautifully and he also appreciated listening to great music. He would often say, Karen, you have to hear this. Of course I enjoyed it too. I love music, but what I miss most, is Doug sharing a new song with me. Now sometimes when I hear a new song, I will think, Wow, Doug would love this! ( I know I have a picture of Doug playing the piano somewhere, but I cannot find it! For the sake of time, I will leave it out. : (    )

This year, there is another who we will all  miss at Christmas. My sister-in-law, Debbie passed away in August. She was another person who was just grateful for the simple things in life. She enjoyed her family, and her kids were the world to her. I know that they will feel this loss greatly, as well as my brother Rick. Please keep them in your prayers as they go through their first Christmas without her.

Christmas 1986 at my parents house. I am holding our oldest son Jeremy who was 4 months old. It is hard to believe that there were only 8 grandchildren at the time. There are now 24 grandchildren and 6 great grand children and 1 great grand child on the way!

One other person I am remembering is my grandmother, My Mom's Mom.

I have a large extended family and my Mom's side of the family all gathered at my Grandmother's house for Christmas. Just a few days ago my sister was asking little trivia questions on facebook about Christmas at Grandmother's house.  She asked where did Grandmother sit when we were passing out the presents? I was the first to respond and I got it right! She always sat on the piano bench.  In the picture below you can see me sitting with her on the piano bench.

We lived next door to her and she was a major part of my life growing up. She loved the Lord with all her heart and that was her biggest desire for all of the rest of us. She was known for praying for each of us, and I know that those prayers have carried our family through so much. She taught piano lessons and I took lessons for many years( but please so not ask me to play for you!)  It is such a Blessing to have such a wonderful heritage!

My Grandmother, Me with Jeremy, and my Mom

There are so many other loved ones that come to mind as I write this post. I am thankful to have the memories etched in my mind and will forever hold them in my heart! So as we are remembering those that have gone on before us, let us first remember the one who died for us, Jesus!

( I wrote this post before I went back and read last years post. There are a lot of similarities, so I guess it is quite obvious who I am missing more this time of year!)

You can read my post from last year here.

 

A Visit With Faith ~ Updated

The past several days,I have been reliving the day that Faith was born, and the days that followed. It might be because this past Friday was Pregnancy and Infant Lost Remembrance Day, or maybe because on the 28th of this month, it will be Faith's 2nd Heavenly Birthday.

Probably Both!

For those of you who do not understand, Yes, she was born. I carried her for over 37 weeks and I saw her heart beating on the ultrasound numerous times. I felt her moving inside of me. She was full of life! She was just born still. I had to go through labor and delivery just like for any other baby.

I would have to imagine that losing a child would have to be the hardest thing anyone would have to face. I know that it has been for me. The next hardest thing in my life was when my son Tim was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Leukemia.

Tim spent 2 1/2 years going through chemotherapy. Yes, those days were quite difficult! The truth be told, the statistics were that he had a good chance of survival, but no guarantees. We became  familiar with other children at the clinic and then we would not see them anymore. We would learn that they passed away. It was very stressful and difficult. At the same time I believe God was holding us in the Palm of His Hand. He gave me a Peace in my Heart that I knew could only come from Him! Praise God, Tim is almost 22 years old and married Naomi this past January!   *  Updated : My hubby reminded me that Tim had T-Cell ALL and the survival rate was about 50% at that time. If it was the more common form of ALL,( I do not remember what it was called) the survival rate was about 60-70%? I do not know if those percentages have changed since 1993. They probably have but I am not up to date on any of that information at this time. I am not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. I guess since so many years have gone by my memory is not what it used to be. The Point is, Tim is healed and doing Well! Praise God! *

I have mentioned before that Faith is buried in Virginia, where I am originally from. My Mom still lives in the same house I grew up in and my siblings live anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours away. Sometimes I wonder if we made the right decision to have her buried there, but overall I am content with that choice. She is buried at the foot of my Father's grave which I am so grateful for. The hard part is that I usually only get to visit about once a year.

In September when we visited my Mom and the rest of my family, we were finally able to go visit Faith's grave. This was Mike's first time to actually see her stone in person. He was not able to go with me last year when we went, so all he saw were pictures.

We all loaded up in the van and went over for a visit. My Mom rode along with us as well.  Mike and the kids had all gotten out of the van as soon as we got there. I  took a little longer as I was talking to my Mom. When I finally got out and made it over to Faith's grave, I saw something so very sweet. Anna was cleaning off dirt and grass from the stone. She was doing this all on her own, without anyone saying anything about it! It brought tears tears to my eyes. She was taking care of her baby sister the only way she could!

Anna was overjoyed when she found out that Faith was a girl.  She was so excited to finally have a little sister! She had big plans for this baby sister! When she found out that Faith had died, she cried for probably an hour straight. Each of the children have dealt with the loss in their own way, but I would have to say that I see how deeply it has affected her.

This first picture is right after Faith's Memorial Service. I found Anna just sitting and crying. I had to go over and hold her!  It still brings tears to my eyes every time I see this picture.

The rest of the pictures are when we visited Faith's Grave in September.

Anna Cleaning Off Faith's Stone

Micah joins in to help Anna clean the Stone



Anna sitting and lingering over Faith's Stone



I hate that my children have had to experience the pain of losing their baby sister, but it is so wonderful to see their love for her. She was so wanted and loved by us all!

 

As Per Lynnette's Request

Lynnette asked us to post pictures that represent us. Actually, I do not have a lot of pictures of me. I am usually the one behind the camera. I am one who prefers to do my hair and put on makeup before having my picture taken. Since I do not wear makeup everyday, you will not see a lot of pictures of me here! I do like to take pictures of my kids though, so you will see a lot more of them!

Hubby and I, Twenty-six years ago

Hubby and I about a year ago.

My hair is a little longer now and layered. I am getting sick of it though and I am thinking about cutting it again.

Our Family in January 2010.

 

And of course our sweet baby Faith that will always be in our hearts!

You can go here to see pictures of our dog, fish, and turtles.

 

Pray With Me

This post has been forming in my head for several days. I often find it difficult to get enough time to sit and write a post that makes any sense!

As a mother that has lost a child, I have found many women here in the blogging community that have walked a similar path. I have also encountered many women IRL( in real life)that have lost a child.

At Faith's Service, I had two women that came up to me and shared their experiences with me. I had no idea that they hade walked this path. I could still see the pain in their eyes as they shared their stories with tears rolling down their cheeks. For one of them their loss happened probably over 50 years ago.

Losing a child is a painful experience. I felt like someone reached in and ripped my heart right out of my chest.The pain is not quite so raw anymore, but I am sure that it will never totally go away. I guess I do not want it to totally go away so that I will always remember her.

Before I started blogging, I was reading blogs that dealt with the loss of a child. My heart ached for these people and I had no idea that I would become one of them.

At times I have become overwhelmed with the number of women that have lost a child. I have often wondered if more women are losing babies these days, but I have come to the realization that due to advanced technology, we have instant access to information from all over the world.

I am still overwhelmed by the numbers and my heart is broken. I believe that Satan is trying to steal, kill, and destroy what God has created. I believe that there is an attack on unborn babies. .

I fervently believe that pregnant women and their unborn babies need to be kept in prayer. I believe that God laid this on my heart and this is how the Pregnancy Prayer List got started here on my blog.

Let me be the first to say that I am no one special, and I am not a perfect person. I am just a willing vessel.I strive to be more like Jesus everyday and honor Him in all I do. Believe me, I do fail tremendously!

God does not always answer our prayers in the way we expect, but I will continue to pray.

One example is of a precious mother that asked to be put on the Pregnancy Prayer List only to have a miscarriage a few days later. Would you please pray for her? This is her third loss in just a few months. She really needs to be lifted up at this time.

There are mother's on the Pregnancy Prayer List now that have experienced loss before. There are some that are expecting their Rainbow babies. With this brings new hope, but also I am sure it brings along a certain amount of anxiety. They too could use your prayers right now! I pray as they go through their pregnancies that that God will give them healthy full term babies. I also pray that they can lean on Him and He will bring them peace and comfort along the way.

At least one of the ladies on the list is expecting their first child. There comes great excitement and expectation with your first. She could use you prayers too.

With each one of these women I also pray that God will supply all their needs. That He will Bless them abundantly and bring resources that they did not know even existed!

There have been a couple of women that have said that they would pray for these ladies along with me. Would you please consider taking time in your busy life and pray for these dear ladies? I know that they would appreciate it and it would mean a lot to me as well.

Please remember that if you are pregnant or know someone who is and would like to be added to the list, please leave a comment or email me at onhavingfaith@gmail.com . If you would like for me to pray for you but not be added to the list on the blog, I would be honored to do that also.

May God richly bless each of you!

 

Here is a collage I created to honor Faith. I have been playing around with Picasa trying to learn how to use it and this is what I came up with.

 

Oh Happy Day!

The past few days have been amazing. It has been getting warmer and the Sun has been shining! Oh how I love the sunshine! Today it is suppose to be Sunny and the high of 66! I am thrilled. Spring must be coming soon!

Some of the children have been doing their schoolwork outside. They just can't get enough of this weather either! They have been working hard at getting everything done so that they can spend the rest of the day outside playing. This is a win-win situation for all of us!

You would think it was Summer here with these kids wearing shorts and sandals and some are even barefoot!  Even as I am typing this, the clouds are moving in. There is a chance of rain tomorrow and by the weekend it is suppose to be a bit cooler! It was fun while it lasted, but Spring can't be too far away!

This morning I took my son Josh to get his braces off. He was more than ready! We have been through  a lot with Josh and his braces. They actually removed his braces several months ago. After seeing his teeth with the braces off I was not happy with the results.  They ended up putting the top braces back on. This ortho kept saying just a few more weeks. He kept wanting to schedule the removal of the braces but I kept seeing something I thought needed to be fixed. He always agreed with me and told me I had a good eye. Well, he is the orthodontist so why doesn't he have a good eye?  Josh does not seem to even care. Well after spending that much money, I care a lot!

 Josh Before:

Josh After:

Josh  does not often cooperate with getting his picture taken, so this is the best I have!

Nothing really new here. I am better now, but just can't quite seem to shake this run down feeling. I am hoping that getting some sunshine will help that a bit.

Lately it seems as though I feel like I am going backwards on my journey of grief after losing Faith. I miss her so much and have been reliving the painful memories. The times like when we learned of her hypoplastic left heart, the night we found out there was no heartbeat, and the day she was born.  It can be truly painful remembering these times. God has been faithful to carry us through, to bring us comfort and healing. I lean on Him now as I am going through this phase of grieving. I know He will see me through and I look forward to being on the other side.

I have participated in Walking With You hosted by Kelly Gerken from Sufficient Grace Ministries for a while. Right now they are going through the Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy Bible Study.  I am reading along with them and reading each of their posts. I am struggling to find the time to put my thoughts together to post each week on this study. I have found it helpful though to read the study and the other ladies posts. If you are a Mother that has lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death I encourage you to read along. You can download this study for free from the link above. The Walking With You posts can be found here.

Have an Awesome Day!

 

Walking With You ~ Praising God

Walking With You is an outreach of Sufficient Grace Ministries hosted by Kelly at The Beauty Of Sufficient Grace. We are a group of mothers who have lost a baby or child, who gather together each month to share our stories, to encourage, and pray for one another as we walk this path together. Our hope is that you will be comforted when you join us here...and maybe that we can offer some grace for the journey as we look to the Lord for comfort and strength.

This Month we are going to Focus on Praising God, no matter what our circumstances! We can pick an attribute to praise Him for or write something of our own.

God's Love and Faithfulness

As we have been walking through this journey with Faith, I have felt that God was with us each step of the way! I will not say that it was easy, but I knew he was there taking care of me. God's Love was evident all around us.

Since I was very young, I have always had this reassurance that God was with me and taking care of me. No, I haven't been worry free. I am human and I try to take over for myself, forgetting to hand it all over to Him and let Him have charge over everything. So, sometimes many times I fall flat on my face! That is when I realize I am trying to do things in my own power without relying on God!

My very first pregnancy ended in miscarriage back in 1985. I remember listening to a lady on TV that had gone through many miscarriages and struggling to have a baby. She shared how God had spoken to her and asked her what would she do if she never had a live baby? Would she go on living for Him and bring Glory to His Name, or turn her back on Him? She decided that no matter what her circumstances, that she was going to Praise His Name. By the way, she ended up having children!

I felt as I was listening to her testimony that God was speaking to me. Was I going to Praise Him no matter what? I have chosen that I want to Praise Him. No, it is not always easy! Yes, I have been angry that Faith is gone! But, I want to Praise Him because He is Worthy of our Praise!

I think back to when times have been difficult, and I do not always feel Him. It reminds me of the poem "footprints". When I do not see two sets of footprints, that is when He was carrying me! I know that He has carried me through so much!

God's Love has been evident through this journey! We have had wonderful people minister to us through all of this. From my amazing doctor and the wonderful nurse who were with us in the delivery room, to many family and friends who have helped to lighten our load. We have been Blessed and We are truly Thankful!

I am ministered greatly through music. I love Praise Music and that sure can lift me up when I am down. I love to sing along too, probably much to the dismay of my kids! There is something to be said about Praise Music. I recommend you pop some in if you need a lift in your spirit!

There have been several songs that have ministered to me quite a bit while walking this journey. I am sure the song,  Praise You In this Storm has become a theme song to many of us. Here are a few that I enjoy.


This first one reminds me of God's Faithfulness



This song comforts me knowing that he will never let go, through the calm and through the storm!



This song reminds us of His Love!



He never promised that Life was going to be easy. He did promise that He would be with us and take care of us along the way! Great Is His Faithfulness!

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he.                         
Deuteronomy 32:4

Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.   
Psalm 146:1-2

Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.                            
Psalm 63:3

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.               
Psalm 13:5   
 

Lord, I Love You and I want to Forever Praise Your Name! Please be with these other Moms that have lost a child or children also. Bring them comfort and give them peace in their hearts. Minister unto their Hearts, Minds, and Spirts and help them to forever Praise You Also!  Amen

 

Remembering At Christmas

Walking With You was created by Kelly at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share our stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more.

If you are missing someone you love this Christmas, someone of ANY age who is spending Christmas with Jesus this year, I hope you will join us on this very special Walking With You. We are sharing our Christmas memories and the ways that we remember our loved ones who have gone home to heaven at Christmas time. To join Walking With You please visit Kelly's Blog.

This time last year our grief was so very raw. I believe we were in survivor mode. We just did not have the energy to want to do much. Hubby and I knew we needed to do something for the children. We did manage to get up the tree and eventually a few simple decorations outside.

We were incredibly blessed by the Hospital where Faith was born. One of the units there adopted our family and bought us some amazing presents. We were asked for a list of things that the children wanted for Christmas. I told the children to pick something that was $25 or less. Well, they each got what they asked for and whole lot more!

It was so much fun and the children had the times of their lives. The older children just asked for a gift certificate so they could buy clothes. They got a generous gift certificate to Kohls and a few other things. Mike and I also received gifts too. We were overly Blessed!

This year I have wanting to enjoy all the sight and sounds of Christmas! I love Christmas music, the lights and decorations, and pretty much anything else that has to do with Christmas.

Our tree is up and finally decorated! We have put up lights out front. I have a few other things I would like to do, but not sure that I will get to it. We have hardly gotten any shopping done yet. I guess we need to get busy!

The TBQ group from our Church gave us this beautiful ornament last year in Memory of Faith.

The children were so thrilled to see it when we pulled it out this year. They each have their own ornament and they were glad that Faith had one too! I love how they seem to like to remember her.

The past couple of weeks I have been missing Faith a bit more. She should be here to celebrate with us. She would be 14 months old and probably wanting to pull the ornaments off of the tree. Wrapping paper would have kept her entertained and might have become a little snack too. I will miss the sparkle that would have been in her eyes looking at the Christmas lights!

Yes, I miss her and wish that she were here with us, but I am thrilled that she is with the One whom we are celebrating! What better place could anyone be?

I have many people who I will miss this Christmas, and I have two that I want to share with you.

My brother Doug died in 1993. He enjoyed Christmas and he always helped my parents decorate. Doug played the piano very well. He would play for our listening pleasure or we would sing along. If he wasn't playing the piano he usually had some other music playing. Doug always made sure that we listened to Handel's Messiah every year.

Doug was good at giving fun and unique presents. It was always fun to see what he selected for each person. He seemed to know how to pick out just the right gift for each one. Whether the gift was to meet a need in a person's life or a gift that was for enjoyment, he always seemed to get it right!

My Dad passed away in 2004. Dad loved Christmas! He was so thankful for every present. He was a person that never expected much but was thrilled with each gift. He always wore his red sweater on Christmas.

My Dad collected penguins. We always tried to find him a new one each year. Now we are a bit partial to penguins. Whenever we see a penguin we are always reminded of my Dad.

Dad loved his family, so Christmastime was always special to him because that meant family would gather together. Nothing in this World would have made my Dad any happier than having my Mom by his side and the rest of his family there also.

Since I have been married, I haven't always been there with my family for Christmas. Those times that I didn't make it there, my Dad always called me on Christmas and then passed the phone around to everyone else. I miss my Dad and how he truly enjoyed the simple things in life. It did not take much to make him happy.

As we celebrate the Birth of Our Savior, I will draw close to Him to bring me "Comfort and Joy!" I need for Him to Comfort me as I am missing Faith and I want to be full of Joy as I celebrate His Birth!

I love this old Christmas Carol as it brings Good Tidings of Great Joy as it shares about the Birth of our Savior and that He came to save us!

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

God rest ye merry, gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

Remember, Christ, our Saviour

Was born on Christmas day

To save us all from Satan's power

When we were gone astray

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel,

This blessed Babe was born

And laid within a manger

Upon this blessed morn

The which His Mother Mary

Did nothing take in scorn

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

From God our Heavenly Father

A blessed Angel came;

And unto certain Shepherds

Brought tidings of the same:

How that in Bethlehem was born

The Son of God by Name.

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

"Fear not then," said the Angel,

"Let nothing you affright,

This day is born a Saviour

Of a pure Virgin bright,

To free all those who trust in Him

From Satan's power and might."

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

The shepherds at those tidings

Rejoiced much in mind,

And left their flocks a-feeding

In tempest, storm and wind:

And went to Bethlehem straightway

The Son of God to find.

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

And when they came to Bethlehem

Where our dear Saviour lay,

They found Him in a manger,

Where oxen feed on hay;

His Mother Mary kneeling down,

Unto the Lord did pray.

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises,

All you within this place,

And with true love and brotherhood

Each other now embrace;

This holy tide of Christmas

All other doth deface.

O tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

Luke 2:10

 

WalkingWith You ~ Thankful

Walking With You was created by Kelly at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share our stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more.

From Kelly:

This month we are focusing on our gratefulness for the gifts we were given and the ways our lives were changed by the lives of our babies. I know that many people are busy, so this can be as simple or in-depth as you wish. I hope you will link your own post with us, sharing ways that you are thankful. I do think that reflecting on gratefulness is very valuable...especially in the throes of grief. Grief is big and consuming. The simplicity of counting our blessings refocuses a grieving heart from the giants of pain, sorrow, and hopelessness to the hope, comfort, peace, and eventually joy that waits for us on the other side of the valley. The comfort that waits for us in the arms of our Savior.


I have so much to be thankful for! Even in the midst of all the pain there have been so many things to be thankful for.


While we were still expecting Faith we learned that she had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). All the love and prayers from family , friends, and our church were such a blessings. We were given so much hope about Faith's future. We knew it would be a very rough beginning, but we believed that she would survive. Our world came to a crashing halt to find she had passed away before she was even born! We certainly needed all those prayers more than ever!


Another thing I am thankful for is the medical personnel that was present the day Faith was born. My doctor is the absolute best! She is so loving and caring and she means the world to me. She had tears streaming down her face as she delivered Faith.  It was so comforting that she really cared!


The nurse I had that day was also the best! I know that God arranged for her to be there that day! She was just so good at what she does. She took great care of us and spent extra time with us. It really makes a world of a difference when you have a nurse that is good at what she does and is also so loving and caring.


I am thankful for my loving Savior that has been with me through all of this and has brought comfort to me and is in the process of healing my broken heart. I could not live without Him!  Thank You Lord, for loving me and taking care of me and carrying me along the way when I couldn't take another step!


I am thankful for Faith being a part of my life. Even though the grief I have experienced has been very tough, I am a better person for Faith touching my life. She is a part of me and she will not be forgotten. There is not a day that passes that I have thought of her too many times to count. I miss her so much!


I am thankful for my Husband that has walked beside me through all of this!  He has been there for me and just held me when that is all that he could do. I have been blessed to have had this man in my life for over 26 years.


I am thankful for those that have had the courage to talk about Faith with me. Most people are afraid to bring up her name. It means the world to me to be able to talk about her and to her someone mention her name. She did exist, she is my daughter!


I am thankful for the people that remembered just last week that it was a year ago on October 28th that she was born. Those people sent me notes and cards and it meant the world to me.


I am thankful for the living children I have. They are real blessings!  Even though life can be quite challenging at times, I am thrilled to have each one of them in my life. There is a lot of great joy that comes with having children.


I am thankful for many friends I have made through the blog world and especially the ones that have experienced a similar loss. I am so sorry that any of us have had to become a part of this club, but I am thankful we can share our grief together and just be there to support one another.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his ;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.

                                                            Psalm 100

 

A Year

Today is the day. Yes, it has been a year ago today that Faith was born into the hands of her Heavenly Father.

As the day was approaching, I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do today to remember Faith. I also did not know what emotions would come to surface on this day.

I was sure I would be quite all right and that it wouldn't be difficult. Talk about denial! Last night as Hubby and I were talking about today, the tears started to come.

When I woke up this morning the weather was quite dreary. Perfect, that went right along with my mood! After getting text messages and messages on facebook, the tears started flowing freely. I am so Thankful for all of those who remembered us today and also prayed for us. I am sure that is what got us through.

Faith was a very wanted baby. She is greatly missed. I long for the day that we will be reunited in Heaven. Oh what a day that will be!

We did a balloon release this evening at home. We are in Kentucky and Faith's grave is in VA. We waited for Hubby to be home from work. We had to fit it in before the kids had to leave for church.

So with all 10 kids and Tim's Fiance, Naomi, we went outside and had our balloon release. One balloon got away before we were ready. Luckily I had an extra inside. We let them go and we watched them go up until we could no longer see them. One balloon got caught on the overhang of the house, so the kids were entertained watching as it finally freed itself and finally went up and away also.

My dear sweet niece Corrie (who is more like the baby sister my Mom never gave me!) went to Faith's grave and released a balloon there. She also got a Happy First Birthday Balloon that she left at the grave. She called me while she was there and talked to me while she and her sister released the balloon. Corrie is the best! Thanks Corrie for all you do! Thanks for helping me out! I Love You!

She took some pictures for me, so I will try to share those as well as the ones we took here at home as soon as I get them all together.

I bought this single pink rose in memory of Faith

If you have not seen the slideshows of Faith and of her Memorial Service you might want to go here to view them. There are 2 different slideshows there. One is what was shown at Faith's Memorial Service. These pictures were taken the day Faith was born.Make sure the sound is turned up on your computer so that you can hear the beautiful song that is playing. The other slideshow is pictures that were taken at the Memorial Service.

Thanks to all of you that have prayed for us. God is so good and he has been with us through every step of this journey. It has not always been easy, but God has carried us when we couldn't walk ourselves. We could never had lived through all of this without the Great Physician that is in the process of healing our broken hearts!

 

The Graveside Service For Faith

This post has actually been in the making for a couple of months. I had started it and never finished it for whatever reason.

We traveled to Virginia to have Faith buried. We were given permission to have her buried at the foot of my Father's grave. We had options of having her buried here in Kentucky, but that just didn't sit right with me. It has now been over four years ago that we moved to Kentucky, but it is just not "home" to me. If we moved away from here, I am not sure that we would come back and visit much. My Mom, siblings, and a lot of extended family stll live in Virginia, so it just seemed right to take her there.

On November 22, 2008, our friends and family assembled at the Cemetery to remember Faith. It was an unusual blustery day in Virginia. Just the year before were visiting there in November, and on Thanksgiving it was in the 70's. We were all wearing t-shirts. Now we were all bundled up in Parkas trying our best to stay warm.

We did not really have a pastor that we knew from the area, so a pastor from my sister's church led the Service. He is such a wonderful man with a true heart for God. We met with him a couple of nights before the Service to go over the details, and I really appreciated his joy of the Lord and his care and compassion for us.