Happy September!

It is September 8th and life is is full swing! We are near the end of our 3rd week of school, however this was only a 4 day week.

I had started a few posts through out the Summer and hoped to finish them, but I never have.  Right now it seems overwhelming to get caught up with all the stuff  I have missed on this blog. So, I decided to just start where we are now and possibly add a little about our Summer as I go.

This year I have 6 kids in school, a first grader all the way up to a 10th grader. Last year there were seven, but Rebekah graduated. It seems a little strange just having 6 at home full time. When you have so many kids, even with just one missing, the dynamics change quite a bit.

Rebekah is going to the local University and living at home. She does not have her drivers license yet, so Hubby or I have to drop her off and pick her up. Her schedule is so full, that she is not home very much. She has long days at school and she also works several evenings a week. I feel like I hardly ever see her. She is getting the hang or her busy schedule, but she is quite worn out which is totally understandable!

Our Summer was quite busy with the Musicals from our Church. There were many practices and both Musicals had three performances each. Let's just say that we were doing a lot of running around and dinner was usually on the run. It was a lot of fun, but it was also great when it was all over! I really felt like I needed a vacation afterwards. I only had to transport my kids, I cannot imagine how the people leading these kids through every practice and performance felt. There were a few young ladies that taught the choreography for both groups and some days they had 2 practices in one day. Can you say Workout?!  I should have joined in and learned the dance moves too, it would have been a great for weight loss.

We did fit in a visit to go see my Mom in Virginia. It was so nice just to be with her. I absolutely hate being so far away from her and the rest of my family. I wish we could at least live closer so that I could easily go for the weekend or something. Last week she fell and when I got the call, it tore me apart that I could not just get up and go be with her. She thought she had broken her leg, but ended up being a small fracture and some badly bruised ribs. That has got to be painful enough though. The good news is that she got to go home! She hates having to stay in the hospital!

While in Virginia, we did get to go see Faith's grave. While I know that she is not there, but with Jesus, it is still nice to visit, since this is a little bit of her I have here on earth.

The kids always want to take my picture while we are there!

Just like all the other times we have visited, many of the kids run straight for Faith's Grave and the start cleaning it up and pulling away any long grass, etc. It always Blesses My Heart! This year I did not get a picture of it though.

My beautiful necklace from My Forever Child.

Close up of my Necklace

Micah using Uncle Rick's fancy camera! He did not want to give it back!

Even though it has been a bit  hard to get back into a regular routine of school,etc, it also feels good!  Kids just seem to do better when they keep up somewhat of a regular schedule. They also go to bed a bit earlier too!

It has been a really hot summer here, but the past few days have been cool and wet and rather dreary! It just seems that we go from one extreme to another. I really would like to have some nice Fall weather though. Some cool days with Sun, yeah, that's what I want!

Today I will leave you with a song I have on my heart:

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

by Helen H. Lemmel, 1922

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

                                                                                                                     Hebrews 12:2

 

A Visit With Faith ~ Updated

The past several days,I have been reliving the day that Faith was born, and the days that followed. It might be because this past Friday was Pregnancy and Infant Lost Remembrance Day, or maybe because on the 28th of this month, it will be Faith's 2nd Heavenly Birthday.

Probably Both!

For those of you who do not understand, Yes, she was born. I carried her for over 37 weeks and I saw her heart beating on the ultrasound numerous times. I felt her moving inside of me. She was full of life! She was just born still. I had to go through labor and delivery just like for any other baby.

I would have to imagine that losing a child would have to be the hardest thing anyone would have to face. I know that it has been for me. The next hardest thing in my life was when my son Tim was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Leukemia.

Tim spent 2 1/2 years going through chemotherapy. Yes, those days were quite difficult! The truth be told, the statistics were that he had a good chance of survival, but no guarantees. We became  familiar with other children at the clinic and then we would not see them anymore. We would learn that they passed away. It was very stressful and difficult. At the same time I believe God was holding us in the Palm of His Hand. He gave me a Peace in my Heart that I knew could only come from Him! Praise God, Tim is almost 22 years old and married Naomi this past January!   *  Updated : My hubby reminded me that Tim had T-Cell ALL and the survival rate was about 50% at that time. If it was the more common form of ALL,( I do not remember what it was called) the survival rate was about 60-70%? I do not know if those percentages have changed since 1993. They probably have but I am not up to date on any of that information at this time. I am not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. I guess since so many years have gone by my memory is not what it used to be. The Point is, Tim is healed and doing Well! Praise God! *

I have mentioned before that Faith is buried in Virginia, where I am originally from. My Mom still lives in the same house I grew up in and my siblings live anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours away. Sometimes I wonder if we made the right decision to have her buried there, but overall I am content with that choice. She is buried at the foot of my Father's grave which I am so grateful for. The hard part is that I usually only get to visit about once a year.

In September when we visited my Mom and the rest of my family, we were finally able to go visit Faith's grave. This was Mike's first time to actually see her stone in person. He was not able to go with me last year when we went, so all he saw were pictures.

We all loaded up in the van and went over for a visit. My Mom rode along with us as well.  Mike and the kids had all gotten out of the van as soon as we got there. I  took a little longer as I was talking to my Mom. When I finally got out and made it over to Faith's grave, I saw something so very sweet. Anna was cleaning off dirt and grass from the stone. She was doing this all on her own, without anyone saying anything about it! It brought tears tears to my eyes. She was taking care of her baby sister the only way she could!

Anna was overjoyed when she found out that Faith was a girl.  She was so excited to finally have a little sister! She had big plans for this baby sister! When she found out that Faith had died, she cried for probably an hour straight. Each of the children have dealt with the loss in their own way, but I would have to say that I see how deeply it has affected her.

This first picture is right after Faith's Memorial Service. I found Anna just sitting and crying. I had to go over and hold her!  It still brings tears to my eyes every time I see this picture.

The rest of the pictures are when we visited Faith's Grave in September.

Anna Cleaning Off Faith's Stone

Micah joins in to help Anna clean the Stone



Anna sitting and lingering over Faith's Stone



I hate that my children have had to experience the pain of losing their baby sister, but it is so wonderful to see their love for her. She was so wanted and loved by us all!

 

11 Months

It has been 11 months since we said goodbye to Faith. Wow, it is so hard to believe that almost a year has passed by!



When Faith passed away, it seems as though life came to halt. I knew life had to go on, but it was difficult. When I went out in public I would often think "Don't these people know that my baby died?"

Life has gone on and we are doing well, for the most part. We miss Faith a great deal and there is an empty spot that will always be there.

Micah, our 4 year old will often talk to me about Faith. Just out of the blue he will ask me questions about her. The one question he has asked many times is "Why did my baby sister die?" This always brings tears to my eyes. He has also asked me a few times if we can get another baby. I told him he would have to ask Jesus for another baby.

Last night Micah asked me a question that I have often pondered myself. He asked, "Why is Jesus taking so long to give us a baby?" I did not want to explain to him that we may never have another baby. Right now I would like for him to keep praying for that baby! We will just have to wait and see what God has in store.

I love his innocence and his boldness to talk about Faith. It can be hard sometimes but it also brings me great joy that he remembers her.

When I was in Virginia in July I was able to see her Stone for the first time. It was the first time I had been back since November when we buried her. Here is a couple of pictures that I took from that day. We have removed the last name for privacy reasons.

This is 5 of the children. Micah was with us also, but would he would not cooperate for the picture. As you can see the sun was in their eyes.

Dear Sweet Faith, we miss you more than words can describe. We wish so much that you were sharing your life here with us, but we find comfort that you are Safe In The Arms Of Jesus! We look forward to the day we are reunited with you! We love You!