Monday, September 28, 2009

11 Months

It has been 11 months since we said goodbye to Faith. Wow, it is so hard to believe that almost a year has passed by!

When Faith passed away, it seems as though life came to halt. I knew life had to go on, but it was difficult. When I went out in public I would often think "Don't these people know that my baby died?"

Life has gone on and we are doing well, for the most part. We miss Faith a great deal and there is an empty spot that will always be there.

Micah, our 4 year old will often talk to me about Faith. Just out of the blue he will ask me questions about her. The one question he has asked many times is "Why did my baby sister die?" This always brings tears to my eyes. He has also asked me a few times if we can get another baby. I told him he would have to ask Jesus for another baby.

Last night Micah asked me a question that I have often pondered myself. He asked, "Why is Jesus taking so long to give us a baby?" I did not want to explain to him that we may never have another baby. Right now I would like for him to keep praying for that baby! We will just have to wait and see what God has in store.

I love his innocence and his boldness to talk about Faith. It can be hard sometimes but it also brings me great joy that he remembers her.

When I was in Virginia in July I was able to see her Stone for the first time. It was the first time I had been back since November when we buried her. Here is a couple of pictures that I took from that day. We have removed the last name for privacy reasons.

This is 5 of the children. Micah was with us also, but would he would not cooperate for the picture. As you can see the sun was in their eyes.

Dear Sweet Faith, we miss you more than words can describe. We wish so much that you were sharing your life here with us, but we find comfort that you are Safe In The Arms Of Jesus! We look forward to the day we are reunited with you! We love You!


Friday, September 25, 2009

The Simple Joys In Life

Having Children is such a Blessing! At times it can be stressful, but they can still bring you great joy! The simple things in life can bring such delight to them and it brightens my day. Things like when you give your child a nice present and they seem to enjoy the empty box more than the present itself.

When Mike and I got married he had a townhouse and owned a toaster oven. He did not have a toaster, but we did receive a toaster as a wedding present. That toaster did not get a lot of use, so somewhere over time, it just sorta disappeared. If we needed to toast something, we just used the toaster oven.

When my parents would visit, my mom would always complain that the toaster oven didn't toast evenly. We were content with the toaster oven and didn't see a need for a toaster. We saw it as just something else taking up space on the kitchen counter!

When we visit my mom, she has a toaster! The kids were always intrigued with this thing. She has a fancy smancey toaster that has 4 slots. This summer when we were visiting, the children got quite a bit of use from this toaster. The thing I enjoyed about it was that they were fixing their own food and fixing it for the younger children as well. I decided that we needed a toaster.

So a couple of weeks ago I bought a toaster. It was the funniest thing when I told the children that I bought a toaster. They were so excited! You would have thought that I bought them each a very expensive present, or something like a new puppy.

Our toaster is not fancy like Grandmas! It only has 2 slots. It gets the job done and I feel more comfortable with the children using the toaster than the toaster oven. Why did it take me so long to get a toaster? Now what can I remove from my Kitchen Counter?

Where we live we see a lot of wildlife. We have seen deer,fox,groundhogs,turtles, wild turkeys, turkey vultures,raccoons,lots of toads,possums, and even skunks(mostly squished on the road! EWW!!!) We also see an over abundance of cows and some horses. These are always so exciting for the children to see and always brings such delight.

My vegetable garden did not do well this year. We did get some sugar snap peas and some cucumbers, but most of the other things did not grow well. I will have to study up some more so that maybe next year it will do better!

I had better luck with the flowers though. The Impatiens around my little Japanese Maple Tree did wonderful! We had to move our Butterfly Bush earlier in the season, and it did not look like it was going to make it. It did come back to life and has attracted many butterflies. This brings joy to me!

So it seems that you don't have to have a lot of money to find joy in life! God's Beautiful World can be a wonderful source of joy! A cheap toaster has brought joy to both my children and myself! Look around and see what can bring you joy!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Thankful Today!

Today I am Thankful for many things. God is SO GOOD!

I took Micah to the Doctor on Monday to have his finger rechecked. Remember this and this. His finger has healed really well. The only problem with it now is that it looks a little crooked. The x-rays show that everything looks really well on the inside. The doctor believes as Micah grows and uses his finger more, it will straighten out. Now we just have to get him to give up the band aid. He does not need it, but he refuses to go without one. We might just have to run out of band aids soon!

Yesterday I took Matthew back to the Doctor to be rechecked to make sure his lungs were clear after having pneumonia. His lungs sounded great, so he got the all clear.

Over the weekend, Hubby and I were stressing about a certain situation. I had to constantly remind myself to hand this situation over to God. There was nothing else I could do about it. On Monday, everything was cleared up and God proved Himself once again! We are so very Thankful! We knew that God would have been with us and seen us through, but he chose to take care of us in advance!

Life is hard. I just could not imagine life without God. He has taken care of us through thick and thin! I Love You Lord! I want to Praise Him during the Good times and the Bad!

Just a little reminder: If you haven't been over to Ange's Blog Shop, make sure to stop by and say Hi. She will continue to have giveaways until December 1st. I won her first giveaway and received my vintage ornament and tea candle set in the mail this week.

They are so beautiful, so be sure to stop by her site! Ange is so sweet and such a Blessing!



Monday, September 14, 2009

Meet Ange And Enter Her Giveaway

I have someone I would like for you to meet. Her name is Ange and she is one special lady! She is a mother to 9 children and expecting twin girls. Ange and her family have been through a lot the past couple of years including 2 miscarriages her husband lost his job, and they had to move across country to a place where they did not know anyone.

Ange has 2 blogs. A Heart At Home is her family blog that she shares about her family and things the Lord lays on her heart. I always enjoy reading her blog, it is always inspirational.

Her other blog is Home And Art Blog Shop . She has unique gifts of eclectic and vintage style for sale. Her things are just beautiful and very affordable. Right now she is also having a giveaway. If you sign up to receive her eletter you will be entered into her giveaway. Last night I won her first giveaway, but she has more to giveaway.

Please go visit this very special lady and leave her a sweet message while you are there too! You'll be so glad that you met her, I know I am!


Walking With You ~ Being Reunited With Our Babies

Walking With You was created by Kelly at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share our stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more.

This week, we are sharing what it will be like the day we are reunited with our precious babies in heaven.
I believe that it is impossible to know what Heaven is actually going to be like. All I know, from what is shared in the Bible, is that Heaven will be more glorious than our minds can comprehend. I long to go there. As I type this I am reminded of a song that I learned with my children many years ago that was on a Psalty the Singing Songbook Video. It is titled Heaven is a Wonderful Place. It goes like this:

Heaven is a Wonderful Place, Filled With Glory and Grace, I Want to See My Saviour's Face, Cause Heaven is a Wonderful Place.

Heaven Is A Wonderful Place - Psalty Kids Praise

Over the years I was afraid of dying. I was sure of my salvation and that I was going to go to Heaven, but I was still very afraid. Not any longer! I am assured of seeing my Saviour's Face and what a Glorious Day that will be!

When I get to Heaven I know that meeting my Saviour face to face will be more than my mind can comprehend. I know that there is nothing that I can compare it to.

Over the past several years, as I have lost some precious loved ones it seems as though Heaven get sweeter and sweeter.

When I was born, my grandfathers had already passed away. Many people had told me what a wonderful and Godly man my one Grandfather had been. I was probably about 8 or 9 and I was feeling sad about not having a grandfather. One night I had a dream that when I got to Heaven, my Grandfather was there and he knew me. That was very special to me and I still remember how wonderful I felt when I woke up, and I really felt as though God was comforting me.

The past five years has brought the death of loved ones that has hurt to the core of my being. My Father had struggled many years with his health and escaped death several times. In 2004, Jesus took him home. I loved my Dad so much and miss him terribly. He loved my children so much! He especially loved babies, so since losing Faith, I envision my Dad holding her and watching over her.

In 2006, my best friend, Tammi, lost her battle with breast cancer. She was that special kind of friend that you could share everything with. She loved you and cared about you with no strings attached. She would remember things about my children that I couldn't remember. I was with her the morning she took her last breath. I was grateful to be with her and it was also one of the hardest things in my life!

Tammi also loved my children so much! She also enjoyed my babies a great deal. When we we at church she always held the babies. I like to think of her taking care of Faith also. I see her holding her and singing with her.

When I am reunited with Faith I know that my heart will finally be completely healed. My arms will finally quit aching. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms! I also truly believe that she will know me. What a Day that will be!

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Revelation 21:4

How awesome is that God will wipe away our tears, there will be no more death, sorrow, crying or pain! I cannot wait until that Day!


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm Still Around And Randomness

Well, it has been a week since my last post.

I am working on making my life more organized a little bit at a time. I really need to be on a better schedule, but this is very hard for me. I am a person that would prefer to just "go with the flow!" This does not work well with all that needs to be accomplished and things do not usually "flow" well around here when I am in that mode.

Isaiah 26:3-4 has really ministered to me this week. I really need God's Peace right now. I need peace in my home and in my heart and mind.

Isaiah 26:3-4 (King James Version)
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

I am working on keeping my mind stayed on my Lord. I cannot do this in my own strength. I continually ask Him to help me with keeping my mind stayed on Him.

There was something that happened this week that I was not having my mind on the Lord at that time. Suddenly the Lord brought it to my attention that I was trying to take care of things in my own strength. I said Thank You Lord for reminding me and I asked for his guidance in the situation. Things soon got better. I need to remember to invite Him into every detail of my life!

Other happenings:

I took my son Matthew to the doctor yesterday. He has not been feeling well for about 2 weeks. It started with something that was like the flu. It seemed like he was starting to get better, but suddenly his fever came back and his cough got a lot worse. It ended up that he has pneumonia. They gave him 2 shots of some kind of antibiotic and also gave him a prescription for home. Today he seems to be doing some better. Please pray that it doesn't spread to anyone else!

On labor day we took the children to Chick-fil-A for dinner. They were giving away a free chicken sandwich to everyone that day. I also had several coupons for free kids meals. We only had to buy drinks for those of us who didn't get a kids meal and we bought fries to share. This meal was very inexpensive for our family.

My daughter Rebekah started working at Chick-fil-A a few weeks ago. She really likes it there and so far it has been a good experience. The atmosphere there really seems pleasant. It is also refreshing that they play Christian music. My 2 older boys have worked at other fast food restaurants and the environment has not been quite as pleasant. I pray that it continues to go well for Rebekah and that it will be a positive experience.

That is about it for now! I am off to prepare for our Wednesday night activities. We always have to eat dinner early on Wednesdays so that we can get to Church on time. We have a 45 minute drive to get to Church.



Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Discouraged But Hoping In The Lord!

Life takes so many twists and turns doesn't it? Without God in my life, I know that I would never make it.

I shared recently that I was dealing with some anger issues over Faith being gone. I wish I could report that everything was better, but it is pretty much the same. I also feel a bit discouraged with some things in my life.

After losing Faith, I have experienced different times that all of a sudden things just seem to get worse. It hits me like a ton of bricks. It just seems to come out of nowhere. Sometimes it last a few days, some times a few weeks.

School starting this year has been difficult. First of all, I really did not want to start, I am always really sad for summer to be over. Some of the children were excited to start and some of them were not quite as excited!

By the end of our first week, one by one, most of the children started coming down with something that resembles the flu. By the weekend, hubby and I were not feeling so well either. Fortunately I seem to have a milder version so I have been able to still function.

Today is the first day for most of the children to be back doing their schoolwork. I guess the beauty of homeschooling is that you can be flexible. I love that I do not have to wake up real early and get the children off to school. I actually enjoy having them all home with me(usually) and I would miss them terribly if I sent them off.

With that being said, I have lost my zeal for homeschooling. I believe we are called to do this and I want the passion back. I know God has called us to do this and I want to do it to the best of my ability for Him. Isn't that how we should approach everything we do?

Right now I am finding it hard to juggle everything that I need to do. I have 10 children ranging in age from 23 down to 4 with 10 unique sets of needs. I have a husband who needs me too. A house that needs to be cleaned and kept up. Meals that need to be fixed and the dishes cleaned. Mountains of laundry that need to be washed on a daily basis. I could go on and on!

I do have the children help with some of this, but somewhere along the way I have failed to continue to train them to do more. I am praying for God to show me how to train them better and how to reshape their attitudes. By the way, Hubby does help out a great deal, so I would never complain about that!

I feel that I need to do a better job at my alone time with the Lord. Right now I actually feel that I need to work overtime on making this happen. I am nothing without Him and I desperately need Him. I am not morning person, and I find it very difficult to get up early. When I do, I hardly know who I am, so it would be very hard for me to understand the scriptures. If I do not get up earlier than the children, then it is very difficult to get it done. They sure like to talk a lot!

This blog has been a great outlet for me and I have met a lot of great ladies here. I appreciate your friendships. Many of you have experienced loss also, so we share a common bond that many others do not understand. I would actually like to be able to post more often, but that seems to be difficult. My family takes priority over everything else, besides the Lord. I am not planning on going anywhere, but if you don't hear from me for awhile, you'll know that I am very busy with my family.

My prayer request would be that first God would heal the anger that I am having. Second, he would renew my passion for homeschooling and give me some new energy. Also that I can train the children better and that I can go to bed earlier and get up earlier and have my alone time with Him, alone! That I can get my priorities straight!

If you are a mom to many could you leave me a comment and share with me how you spend time with the Lord.

I would like to leave you with 2 scriptures that I have shared with you before, but they seem to be the theme of my life! They really minister to me.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.