Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Little Of This And That

The Weather has been warm, well actually the last several have been very hot! Also the past couple of days the humidity has seemed very high, although this evening it seems to have gone down a bit. Every year I look forward to Summer, but as I grow older I seem to tolerate the heat less and less. The humidity is even worse.

We will be having our Summer Break here very soon. Most of the children are very near to completion and I couldn't be happier! I do have one son that seems to prefer the year round version of School, especially with his Math. At least he doesn't require much help from me. My husband helps him with Math and I do have to answer questions from time to time, but mostly I have to be around to keep him on schedule! This time next year he should be graduating!

I love flowers so much. For the last few years I have just been buying flowers to put into pots to place on my front porch. I use to buy a whole lot more and fill the beds with them too. Since moving to this house just over four years ago, I am trying to fill the beds in more with perennials. That way it will help save money,time, and effort. A few days ago, I finally got busy and filled all of the pots. Flowers really help to brighten up my day, how about you?

We are trying something new this year. We have never had a vegetable garden at this house before. We had one at a prior house for a few years. We were not too successful at it really, We mostly had cucumbers that survived. We were pretty good at cucumbers, but not at much of anything else. It is a good thing we all like cucumbers a lot. Also take a word of caution from me, never plant miniature pumpkins and cucumbers next to each other! We had orange cucumbers that were strangely shaped!

So, like I said , we are trying something new this year. We are making a square foot garden. If you haven't heard of it,well then go here to learn more about it. We also purchased the book to learn more about it. We are getting a little bit of a late start, but nonetheless we are working on it. Everything should be planted in the next couple of days. Thanks to the hubby for all his hard work. This was kind of my idea, but it required him to help me out quite a bit. I will put up some more pictures when we get it all together. Hopefully this will be successful! I will keep you posted.

You might have noticed my blog is looking a little different. My hubby is helping me with redesigning it. I am still not happy with it, so you will see more changes coming. I am just not sure what those changes are going to be yet. This is probably news to hubby, (so Sweetie, if you are reading this, now you know!)

Some of you might be reading, hoping to hear more about our loss of our Sweet baby Faith. We are just trying to live our lives from day to day. We take it one step at a time. Yes time does heal, but the pain is still there. God gives us Grace for each day. Some days are harder than others.

One night recently I had a dream that I was very upset that I didn't get to dress her. When she was born, I had the option of bathing and dressing her, but I didn't feel comfortable doing so. The nurse dressed her in a beautiful little dress that my doctor had given me. That was the only thing that she ever wore until I had her changed into a different dress for burial, so I wanted to keep that dress. I think I might have had that dream because I have felt a little guilty about not bathing her and dressing her myself. I just didn't think I could do it, and really that's OK. We are all different and handle things differently, so I think I need to give myself a break.

So as you can see, Faith is always on my mind. There are still sometimes when my head hits the pillow at night that the tears start to flow. At least at this point, it is not every night! I really miss her and wish she was here with us, but I trust God knows what he is doing and I long for the day that we will be reunited!




September said...


Thanks for posting with a little of This and That. I enjoyed reading your post. We live similar lives,, I love flower time - it truly does brighten my day. I am thinking of you and your Faith. I keep your name on my Prayer List, for I know a Mothers Loss never really goes away. The heart is so tender.
Enjoy your summer break soon from schooling - we are almost there too.

Krystyna Lizabeth. said...

i like the new look.
it is coming along nicely.

and i just wanted to know that i think of you and your life and faith from time to time and pray for you.
i have recently lost my mother and she lost a child, my little sister, as well after about five weeks and i know that her pain never fully went away. but she got through the days and just pulled ahead and was thankful for all the happiness she was still able to have in her life.
she was an inspiration to me and, hopefully, you as well.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Hi Karen,

I noticed that you became a follower of my blog (thank you) and just wanted to stop by. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Faith. I have a Faith in heaven as well, as you've probably read. After reading this post, I just wanted to say that I can so relate to the regrets you feel. Almost every mother I have met that has lost their precious baby has had some regret...something they wish they would have done that they didn't or something they wish they would have done differently. I know that doesn't do anything to ease the pain or the regret, but I just wanted to share that you are not alone. I wish I would have bathed my babies, too. And, I even mentioned it to the nurse when we had our son Thomas and she discouraged me. It didn't take much to discourage my already weak spirit in that moment of raw grief. There are many regrets...but I rest in the knowledge that in heaven there will be no regrets, no guilt, no sorrow, no more tears or good-byes. And, for our babies that sweet day that we wait for when all is made right in heaven's glory has already arrived. Our babies already rest in that place of perfect peace and glory in the arms of Jesus...and what a comfort it is to know that. Praying God's continued comfort and sufficient grace for you.

In His Grace,
Kelly Gerken
Sufficient Grace Ministries