Friday, April 3, 2009

Busy Week

Well, we made it through my husband's big B-day and life continues on. Four of our children participate in JBQ (Junior Bible Quiz). My hubby is the coordinator for our church. This weekend is the State Meet for JBQ. They will quiz Friday evening and then on Saturday. The top 3 or 4 teams go on to Regionals. Our church has usually done pretty well and gone on to Regionals ( at least for the last 4 years since we have been here.) So this weekend will be pretty busy for our family. If they do well enough to go to Regionals they will quiz the first weekend in May in Indiana. Then if they go on from there to Nationals, they will quiz the first weekend in June in Illinois. To be quite honest, I am happy it is coming down to the end of the season. I love to see the children do well, but I am worn out.

In the grief department, I have been doing better than last week, but I am still struggling a little bit. I think about Faith all the time.I miss her so much and so many things bring me reminders of her. I know God is with me even as I go through this difficult time. He brings me comfort when no one else can comfort me. I just don't know how anyone could go through this kind of grief without him. Thank You Lord for all you have done and are doing!

I have been having a difficult time with friends and relatives and their new babies. I am so happy for them, I really am, but it is so difficult to hear about it and see their babies. I have always loved babies, and this makes me mad at myself for being this way. I am blessed with 10 living children, but Faith was wanted so much too. If you have experienced this and found a way to make it better ( other than time) let me know.

I will soon have a post about Faith's memorial service. After we get through this weekend, I should be able to get it up. I have a slide show I want to include with that post, so I am trying to get it all together. It is so hard to find enough quiet time around here to get it all done. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that it should be coming soon.

Well, I better go and get ready for tomorrow! Have a Blessed Weekend!




Trennia said...

Honestly, I feel the same way.I have always loved babies but now when I here about someone pregnant, or see a new baby exspecially a baby girl..or someone who has lost a baby and expecting again I feel hurt.I can never bare another child, and I feel sometimes so hurt that GOD allowed it to be this way.I don't like feeling like that either, I am happy for those people getting blessed but there's apart of me thinking why not me? Makes me feel awful,LORD forgive me.

Angela said...


I'm so sorry for your losses. I have experienced the pain of loss due to miscarriage, but I can't imagine how painful it must have been to have a stillbirth. May God continue to heal your heart and grant you comfort and peace that passes understanding.

Thank you for stopping by my blog this morning and for your prayers. The Body of Christ is an amazing thing!

In Christ,

Anonymous said...

Hi,I came here from Lynette's site.My name is Muffy and I had a stillborn baby boy 11 mos. ago.We named him Thomas Joel.I wanted to help you if I could.One of the best ways I found to heal this area in my heart about seeing other babies was to find someone whom I knew pretty well and ask if I could hold their baby.I knew I would cry so it had to be someone I knew.Thankfully the Lord knew who I needed when I needed her.One of my midwives had a baby about a month after I lost Thomas. I came to the office the same day she did for her baby's two week checkup.I got to hold him for about an hour,changed him and sobbed my heart out. I wasn't needing to replace Thomas,just hold a live baby again as the last one I had held was dead. So,after that I would take advantage of every opportunity to hold a baby that I got.It really helped me a lot through this year.I am fast approaching his birthday and some days I am still very raw.So,give yourself a break,it is okay to miss little Faith.She is a part of your family and it is okay to desire her presence.We have seven children by the way and yes the hardest part was seeing my older children suffer but they do better than me most days.God has upheld me and carried me so many days this year as I have struggled to give my burdens to Him and praise Him through it all.By the way,it doesn't matter how many children you have it doesn't make you want that one any less.No,people don't understand unless they have lost a baby too.I just have asked the Lord to expand my love for people and give me the strength to forgive people for ignorant comments as they were probably trying to help anyways.I hope this helps and I am praying for you.I help administrate a group on Cafemom called Bereaved Moms if you need encouragement.My email is if you want to write any time to "get it off your chest." Much Love and Empathy in Christ,Muffy

Amy said...

hi again. this is amy again who also came from lynettes site. i too lost a baby to miscarriage and that was hard enough -though definalty easier than i thought because of my growing faith at that time. i cant imagne how hard it would be to lose a full gorwn baby so to speak. when i had my misacrriage i knew it was my baby even though it didnt look like that yet-only 10 weeks. my mom also had a miscarriage when i was 2 and i am her only child. she never got pregnant again though i guess she tried. she felt gulity for feeling sad even though she had me and lost it four years later when she held a friends new baby. so i guess i would say the thign to do would be to keep on doing what you are doing. just share your feelings and dont hold them in. do whatever whenever you feel comfortable with other babies. also i know you are not catholic and dont know what you think but i can tell you, even though i dont know how, that somehow there is what we call the communion of siants and those in heaven can see us and pray for us. we say goodnight to our "sarah eve" everynight and sometimes i think about her or "talk" to her and ask her to pray for things. for example i asked her to say prayers for her baby brother when he needed surgery. or when i was at the hospital when our other son had a hernia surgery and i overheard people talkign about a baby who was soon going to be taken off life support i asked her to great that bay in heaven. do i know for sure that she can see or her me-no but even if she couldnt it seems to help just to think that she could still hear her mommy! also since she did not get to be her with us i felt sad not having anything to remind me of her. no pictures as we got to the hospital after she was already gone. i already new she was gone but it was still hard to have the ultrasound tech say she would show us the baby if she foudn one and then not she one at all. anyways what we did is we put together a box for her. it has things in it like a thank you note from someone telling us good luck with the baby and a picture of me with her inside from the drivers license photo i had taken when pregnant. i have added a few things over the last almost 3 years like a card on her "heaven birthday". -(it is really hard to find birthday cards that say i'm this many years old without them saying what they would be doing at that age...anyways those are all my thoughts. i was going to e-mail you but dont see an e-mail on your page so i will give you mine but please ask you-if possible to delete it from this comment after you get it for privacy. it is the (DOT) frye (DOT)
note tghe anti spam device!

Karen said...

Hi Amy, Thanks for your sweet comment. It has been such a blessing to meet some wonderful ladies through this blog. I tried to email you but it didn't go through, so I put our email address up on my blog. Please try to email through that.