Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It Has Been Six Months

Today marks six months since I first held Faith and it also marks six months since I last held Faith. I miss her so much and wish that we did not have to walk down this path. The past nine months have been very difficult. We found out in July that she had a heart condition that would most definitely require surgery. I was closely monitored by my regular OB and then the High Risk Specialist. I also visited the Pediatric Cardiologist on a regular basis. We felt so full of hope that we were going to meet Faith, and that she would have surgery in the first few days of life, but live a somewhat normal life. God had a different plan.

My heart has been broken, and I am pretty sure that it will never be completely healed this side of Heaven. I Love God with all my heart and believe that he is still in the Healing Business, but I believe that there will always be an ache in my heart where there is missing piece.. I truly believe that God wants it there to remind me to lean on him and as a result my Faith in him will grow even more deeply. It is there so that I can identify with others' pain and have a real compassion for other people who will walk a similar path.

I would do anything to have Faith back, but at the same time I accept what God has chosen for us. I do not like it, but my ways are not always his ways. I desire to live for him and put him first in every area of my life. So I will Praise Him even through this storm!

Last week I was driving down the road and suddenly had this intense feeling that I wanted to tell her that I Love Her. I never had that chance, at least on the outside. So as I am driving with tears rolling down my eyes, I was overcome with the fact that even though she never breathed in any air, I loved her so much and I wanted so badly for her to know that. I wanted to be able to tell her.

I believe that this is a lesson God was sharing with me. I feel that he was saying that this was just a small glimpse of the Love he has for us, and how much he wants us to Know that! Have you ever loved someone with all of your being that you could hardly hold it all in? Well, that is just a smidgen of how much God loves us. We cannot even grasp the depths of his love. At the same time he wants our Love for Him to overflow in us! Oh, how I want to overflow with God's Love!

Oh Dear Sweet Faith, I want you to know how much I Love You and miss you! I cannot wait until I get to see you again!



Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Mother's Day Give Away

I found out about this Mother's Day Give Away and wanted to share with each of you also. It could be a lot of fun to win any of their prizes. So go over to 5 Minutes for Mom for chance to enter in on the fun!

Mothers Day 2009



Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ready For Sickness To Go Away!

We have had a lot of sickness here recently. With a lot of people living under the same roof, and many of us home all day most days, it tends to spread around. I am actually the most recent victim. I have a sinus infection and feel run down. It really doesn't help that it has been gloomy here. I am so ready for long days of warmth and sunshine!

I had two children at the doctors today. One was my daughter who had pneumonia last week. The doctor wanted to recheck her this week to make sure the pneumonia was clearing up. Thankfully she is much better and her lungs sounded good. The other child I took was my 5 year old son. I believe he probably has an allergy problem. He has had cold symptoms going on for a long time,but he has been complaining about his throat a lot recently. Since my other son tested positive for strep, I wanted to make sure he didn't have it also. His strep test came back negative, so no antibiotics needed.

It has been hard for the children to get back into the swing of things for school. We had Spring Break and then last week we had so many sick that not much schoolwork was getting done. So two full weeks of no school makes it difficult to get back into it. I have had to remind people a little too much to get busy. Since I am not feeling well, I am not very motivated either!

Please remember Stellan in your prayers today. He had surgery this morning and could really use your prayers. Please pray for his healing and also pray for his mom Jennifer and the rest of his family.Hospital Life can be very stressful. Having an ill baby can be stressful. Having your family separated by many miles because your baby is transferred to a hospital far away can be stressful. So as you can see, this situation is Stressful for this family. Jennifer has so well stated that she has peace. That can only come from God. I could not even imagine going through this type of situation without knowing God. I am so Thankful to have him with me through all of life's ups and downs.

Prayers for Stellan

I am praying that each of you have a Blessed Day! I am now off to take my son to the Orthodontist!



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Am Still Here

I am still here, life has been busy but I am not sure why, I only have 10 children! I really have no excuse, my 2 oldest are rarely home because of work and/or college. That leaves me home alone with only 8 children, 6 whom are home schooled plus the 2 youngest!

We took our Spring Break last week, but Spring Break has continued unintentionally for some of the children this week. I took 3 of the children to the Doctor on Tuesday and found out one of them has Pneumonia, and one has strep throat. With the other, she wasn't sure, but thought we should treat him too. So needless to say, we are having fun now!

I wanted to say Hi to some of my new friends that have come here from "Lynette's Getting to Know You". Thanks for stopping by and thank you to so many of you that have left comments. If you do not know Lynette then click on the "Getting to Know You" button on my side bar to find out more about her. She is so much fun and such a blessing.

I found out this afternoon that the husband of a very close friend of mine, passed away today. I am very sad, especially for my friend and her son, but I know that Chuck is home with Jesus. He won the race! He fought the good fight! Chuck was a Godly man and he was a wonderful example to so many people. He taught Sunday School for probably about 60 years. He had amazing discipline. Even during his retirement, he woke very early to have devotions and exercise before breakfast. He was such a hard working man. He will be missed by so many! I am praying that God will bring great comfort and peace to Chuck's family during this difficult time.

I hope the rest of my week is pretty peaceful! I sure could use it!

I pray you are having a good week! Good is good all the time!



Thursday, April 9, 2009

God's Little Angel

My sister wrote this poem for Faith after she died. My daughter Rebekah read this at Faith's Service. Let's just say there really wasn't a dry eye in the house. It still makes me cry when I read it now. We are blessed by all of our Family and Friends that have been along with us on this Journey.

God’s Little Angel

God's Precious Little Angel Who Was Named Faith
Was needed in Heaven To Show God's Grace
Her Time on Earth Was Not to be
Yet, We Loved Her so as all could see

The Prayers for this little one that many had brought
Were not in vain as some may have thought
God knows what's best for all concerned
Yet, this is a hard lesson to learn

Our Precious Little Faith so dear
Your Mommy carried you and kept you near
Her Broken Heart will mend in time
Yet, you will always be on her mind

Your brothers and sisters, a nice group I say
Would have been a great help to show you the way
They waited for you to join their nice crowd
Sometimes quiet and sometimes loud

Faith my love, even though we never met
I feel I know you and will never regret
The thought of you and the many prayers
Yes also, the many shed tears

Your Mommy and Daddy and all the rest
The ones that loved you from east to west
Will look forward to the day we meet
When we will be together at Jesus Feet

- Aunt Martie

Oh Dear Faith, we look forward to the day we get to meet you face to face! Mommy and Daddy and all your brothers and sisters look forward to that special day! We Love You!



Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Faith's Memorial Service

After Faith was delivered I spent two days in the hospital before going home. We were sent home with a lot of information on Funeral Homes and Cemeteries, and we were told to take our time, there was no hurry. For several days Mike and I couldn't really talk about it much. I especially did not even feel "ready" to view these materials, more less make any decisions on the matter. One thing that was weighing on me heavily was that even though we live in Kentucky, it does not feel like home. After a few days, I finally started to read the materials and learned that some cemeteries will let you bury a newborn at the foot of an existing grave.

I am originally from Virginia and my Mom and siblings all still live there. My Mom has a couple of extra cemetery plots, so she offered one to us for Faith. I asked her to check and see if it would be allowed for us to have Faith buried at the foot of my Father's grave. Permission was granted, so we planned to take her to Virginia for burial. It just seemed like the right thing to do. All of our friends are here,so we decided to have a Memorial Service here first.

So, on November 13, 2008 we had Faith's Memorial Service which was also my actual due date with Faith. We had the Service here at our church. We sang "It Is Well", "Jesus Loves Me" and "Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone." My 15 year old daughter read a poem that was written by my sister especially for Faith. My 12 year old daughter read a letter that she had written to Faith. Both of these things were so very sweet and touching. My husband Mike put together a slide show so we could share Faith with our Friends.( You can see it below) The pictures were take by our friend from church, Alison, who is with NILMDTS . Our Pastor conducted the service and we were Thankful to celebrate Faith's Life with our Church Family.

There were a lot of tears shed that day,but we were glad to be able to share Faith and what she meant to us. We were given so many comments how people were so touched by the Service . Interestingly enough, there were several comments on how well we taught our children to value the sanctity of life. More than anything we wanted the Lord to be honored that day.

The following slideshow is of the pictures that were taken the day of Faith's Memorial Service. Again all pictures were taken by Alison. The last picture is of me hugging my seven year old daughter after the Service. She was just sitting there crying. She wanted a baby sister so much, and she had great plans for Faith. It brings tears to my eyes every time I look at it.


We are so glad to share Faith with you. She was and is a Blessing from God even though things did not turn out as we planned. Lord we still Praise You during this Storm!



Friday, April 3, 2009

Busy Week

Well, we made it through my husband's big B-day and life continues on. Four of our children participate in JBQ (Junior Bible Quiz). My hubby is the coordinator for our church. This weekend is the State Meet for JBQ. They will quiz Friday evening and then on Saturday. The top 3 or 4 teams go on to Regionals. Our church has usually done pretty well and gone on to Regionals ( at least for the last 4 years since we have been here.) So this weekend will be pretty busy for our family. If they do well enough to go to Regionals they will quiz the first weekend in May in Indiana. Then if they go on from there to Nationals, they will quiz the first weekend in June in Illinois. To be quite honest, I am happy it is coming down to the end of the season. I love to see the children do well, but I am worn out.

In the grief department, I have been doing better than last week, but I am still struggling a little bit. I think about Faith all the time.I miss her so much and so many things bring me reminders of her. I know God is with me even as I go through this difficult time. He brings me comfort when no one else can comfort me. I just don't know how anyone could go through this kind of grief without him. Thank You Lord for all you have done and are doing!

I have been having a difficult time with friends and relatives and their new babies. I am so happy for them, I really am, but it is so difficult to hear about it and see their babies. I have always loved babies, and this makes me mad at myself for being this way. I am blessed with 10 living children, but Faith was wanted so much too. If you have experienced this and found a way to make it better ( other than time) let me know.

I will soon have a post about Faith's memorial service. After we get through this weekend, I should be able to get it up. I have a slide show I want to include with that post, so I am trying to get it all together. It is so hard to find enough quiet time around here to get it all done. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that it should be coming soon.

Well, I better go and get ready for tomorrow! Have a Blessed Weekend!