Friday, March 27, 2009

Still Here

I am still here. It's been a difficult week for me, but this evening I am feeling a little better. I have had to deal with a lot of emotions this week on losing Faith. The early weeks were tough, but things were getting a lot better. All of a sudden it just came from nowhere. I have had to cry out to the Lord to comfort me and give me strength. I have a lot of people depending on me, so I need to be able to function. God is good, and I know that he is helping me.

One thing that some people don't understand is even though I have 10 living children, Faith was also very much wanted. I am thankful everyday for my children, and since losing Faith I am learning a new level of Thankfulness. I am trying to appreciate them each and everyday. I must admit that I am not perfect at this. Some days I am still impatient and frustrated, especially this week while things have been so hard. I do find myself hugging a bit more and giving more kisses!

I have started to feel a little bit down from reading so many stories of babies dying, or being so very ill. Young children with cancer, older people with life threatening illnesses. My heart has been aching for these people. Don't get me wrong because I am grateful to be able to pray for these people. With all of the modern technology , it makes our world a much smaller place. Most of you know about baby Stellan , but if you don't, stop by and learn more about him and don't forget to pray. God is still on the throne and he is still in the healing business!

On Sunday my dear sweet hubby is having a very special birthday! We will celebrate as a family. Our family alone is a party in itself. I will be making his cake this year. In recent years I have been buying our cakes from Sam's Club or Walmart. My hubby really appreciates for me to do it myself, and since we need to desperately save money, that is what I will do. I wish I could decorate it, but I am not gifted in that department. I hope that we can make it a special day for him! I'll let you know how it all turns out!

Have a great weekend!



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