Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Visit With Faith ~ Updated

The past several days,I have been reliving the day that Faith was born, and the days that followed. It might be because this past Friday was Pregnancy and Infant Lost Remembrance Day, or maybe because on the 28th of this month, it will be Faith's 2nd Heavenly Birthday.

Probably Both!

For those of you who do not understand, Yes, she was born. I carried her for over 37 weeks and I saw her heart beating on the ultrasound numerous times. I felt her moving inside of me. She was full of life! She was just born still. I had to go through labor and delivery just like for any other baby.

I would have to imagine that losing a child would have to be the hardest thing anyone would have to face. I know that it has been for me. The next hardest thing in my life was when my son Tim was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Leukemia.

Tim spent 2 1/2 years going through chemotherapy. Yes, those days were quite difficult! The truth be told, the statistics were that he had a good chance of survival, but no guarantees. We became  familiar with other children at the clinic and then we would not see them anymore. We would learn that they passed away. It was very stressful and difficult. At the same time I believe God was holding us in the Palm of His Hand. He gave me a Peace in my Heart that I knew could only come from Him! Praise God, Tim is almost 22 years old and married Naomi this past January!   Updated : My hubby reminded me that Tim had T-Cell ALL and the survival rate was about 50% at that time. If it was the more common form of ALL,( I do not remember what it was called) the survival rate was about 60-70%? I do not know if those percentages have changed since 1993. They probably have but I am not up to date on any of that information at this time. I am not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. I guess since so many years have gone by my memory is not what it used to be. The Point is, Tim is healed and doing Well! Praise God! *

I have mentioned before that Faith is buried in Virginia, where I am originally from. My Mom still lives in the same house I grew up in and my siblings live anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours away. Sometimes I wonder if we made the right decision to have her buried there, but overall I am content with that choice. She is buried at the foot of my Father's grave which I am so grateful for. The hard part is that I usually only get to visit about once a year.

In September when we visited my Mom and the rest of my family, we were finally able to go visit Faith's grave. This was Mike's first time to actually see her stone in person. He was not able to go with me last year when we went, so all he saw were pictures.

We all loaded up in the van and went over for a visit. My Mom rode along with us as well.  Mike and the kids had all gotten out of the van as soon as we got there. I  took a little longer as I was talking to my Mom. When I finally got out and made it over to Faith's grave, I saw something so very sweet. Anna was cleaning off dirt and grass from the stone. She was doing this all on her own, without anyone saying anything about it! It brought tears tears to my eyes. She was taking care of her baby sister the only way she could!

Anna was overjoyed when she found out that Faith was a girl.  She was so excited to finally have a little sister! She had big plans for this baby sister! When she found out that Faith had died, she cried for probably an hour straight. Each of the children have dealt with the loss in their own way, but I would have to say that I see how deeply it has affected her.

This first picture is right after Faith's Memorial Service. I found Anna just sitting and crying. I had to go over and hold her!  It still brings tears to my eyes every time I see this picture.

The rest of the pictures are when we visited Faith's Grave in September.

Anna Cleaning Off Faith's Stone
Micah joins in to help Anna clean the Stone

Anna sitting and lingering over Faith's Stone

I hate that my children have had to experience the pain of losing their baby sister, but it is so wonderful to see their love for her. She was so wanted and loved by us all!



Trennia said...

I am so sorry that your family had to walk this road, but know you are not alone the Lord has and always will be near to your family.Faith's stone is beautiful.Your children are such sweethearts (((HUGS)))

mommyx12 said...

Wow Karen. The strength you have is amazing. What precious photos you have shared. Not to mention the beautiful story of remembrance. I should think what a comfort it must be to have her buried so close to your father. A feeling almost as if, he were there with her, watching over her. Somehow!

blessings to you and your family,

Holly said...

Oh that made me tear up!!

croleyc69 said...

What a beautiful post. Remembering Faith with you. The past week or so I have been thinking of my Babies gone to soon.
Beautiful pics too.


Pam said...

God works through contrite and broken vessels in a powerful way. He cares for our little ones that we have lost; what a relief to know. I grieve with you and your family. All you have been through...hang in there and keep sharing Faith's story. So lovely.

~Traci~ said...

This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing, Karen. You have a precious, sweet family...and they are blessed with a special mom too:)

Karen said...

Karen, these pictures broke my heart and yet they are so tender and sweet.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving such encouraging words. I am praying for you as you are remembering precious Faith.

September said...

Dear Karen...

I had some time today to catch up again on my blog reading.
This post tore at my heart... I know your pain. Thank you for opening your heart again to share with others... I am so sorry you had to bear this. He definitely has brought you to a higher place since that time.
Your posts are always a joy to read.
Thank you for sharing Faith with us again.


Ange said...

Karen, I have not visited your blog in a quite a while. I have been so behind with blogging too. But I just want you know that this is such a beautiful post and it touched my heart deeply. I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. May you be comforted in the hope and assurance that you and your precious family will be reunited with Faith in that wonderful and glorious place in eternity. There will be no more pain and tears...just smiles and laughter. Love you lots!

crystal theresa said...

This is a lovely post. I read Faith's story. She is so beautiful. Sending you big hugs and lots of love. You are an amazing mother.