The past several days,I have been reliving the day that Faith was born, and the days that followed. It might be because this past Friday was Pregnancy and Infant Lost Remembrance Day, or maybe because on the 28th of this month, it will be Faith's 2nd Heavenly Birthday.
For those of you who do not understand, Yes, she was born. I carried her for over 37 weeks and I saw her heart beating on the ultrasound numerous times. I felt her moving inside of me. She was full of life! She was just born still. I had to go through labor and delivery just like for any other baby.
I would have to imagine that losing a child would have to be the hardest thing anyone would have to face. I know that it has been for me. The next hardest thing in my life was when my son Tim was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Leukemia.
Tim spent 2 1/2 years going through chemotherapy. Yes, those days were quite difficult! The truth be told, the statistics were that he had a good chance of survival, but no guarantees. We became familiar with other children at the clinic and then we would not see them anymore. We would learn that they passed away. It was very stressful and difficult. At the same time I believe God was holding us in the Palm of His Hand. He gave me a Peace in my Heart that I knew could only come from Him! Praise God, Tim is almost 22 years old and married Naomi this past January! * Updated : My hubby reminded me that Tim had T-Cell ALL and the survival rate was about 50% at that time. If it was the more common form of ALL,( I do not remember what it was called) the survival rate was about 60-70%? I do not know if those percentages have changed since 1993. They probably have but I am not up to date on any of that information at this time. I am not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. I guess since so many years have gone by my memory is not what it used to be. The Point is, Tim is healed and doing Well! Praise God! *
I have mentioned before that Faith is buried in Virginia, where I am originally from. My Mom still lives in the same house I grew up in and my siblings live anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours away. Sometimes I wonder if we made the right decision to have her buried there, but overall I am content with that choice. She is buried at the foot of my Father's grave which I am so grateful for. The hard part is that I usually only get to visit about once a year.
In September when we visited my Mom and the rest of my family, we were finally able to go visit Faith's grave. This was Mike's first time to actually see her stone in person. He was not able to go with me last year when we went, so all he saw were pictures.
We all loaded up in the van and went over for a visit. My Mom rode along with us as well. Mike and the kids had all gotten out of the van as soon as we got there. I took a little longer as I was talking to my Mom. When I finally got out and made it over to Faith's grave, I saw something so very sweet. Anna was cleaning off dirt and grass from the stone. She was doing this all on her own, without anyone saying anything about it! It brought tears tears to my eyes. She was taking care of her baby sister the only way she could!
Anna was overjoyed when she found out that Faith was a girl. She was so excited to finally have a little sister! She had big plans for this baby sister! When she found out that Faith had died, she cried for probably an hour straight. Each of the children have dealt with the loss in their own way, but I would have to say that I see how deeply it has affected her.
This first picture is right after Faith's Memorial Service. I found Anna just sitting and crying. I had to go over and hold her! It still brings tears to my eyes every time I see this picture.
|Anna Cleaning Off Faith's Stone|
|Micah joins in to help Anna clean the Stone|
|Anna sitting and lingering over Faith's Stone|